Friday, March 30, 2012

General Conference Time

I love Heavenly Father! I love the Savior! I love that we get to hear their prophets speak! I am totally in love with General Conference. I think it's just the coolest thing to be able to have a modern Moses relay vital information from our Heavenly Father about our concerns, needs, questions, desires, etc. Please tell everyone you know about conference! It is such a sacred, special experience that we can't pass up!
 
Do you remember me telling you forever ago about Manuel? He's a man we met while knocking a year ago who became kind of Hna Waite's project. As missionaries, we generally seek out those that are ready to accept the gospel. We know because of the scriptures that He is always preparing someone for it. Usually when we start teaching someone, we can tell from their attitude and desire to learn and change whether they're ready right now. Manuel was certainly not ready at that moment and I wanted to stop teaching him forever ago. But we keep teaching him because Hna Waite wanted to...she kept saying "I know it'll take a long time, but we HAVE to help him!" My attitude at the time was "If we spent all of our time helping EVERYONE that needed help, we will NEVER find the ones that are ready and waiting." Kind of cut-throat and jerky, I know, but Manuel was NOT progressing, not wanting to change and very blinded by his own bitterness and prejudice. For whatever reason, we've kept in contact with him fairly consistently over the last few months and even though the sisters stopped teaching him while I was in the desert, we started teaching him a little more frequently when I came back. A large part of his beef with God stemmed from the fact that he had once been baptized into a church, but became offended by one of the members and left the church. He feels that God has been punishing him by ruining his eyesight ever since. Long story short, he's been improving his perspective on life and challenges over the last few months, he had a surgery which left him completely blind but offered hope of recovery, he made a pact with God that if God helped restore his eyesight, he would "search for Him" again and try to live a good life. The next morning, Manuel started to see light and shadows and recognized that as Heavenly Father honoring that pact.
We've been working a lot more with him to understand why both personal revelation as well as belonging to a church (specifically, the church of God) is important. He's making really good progress and we're going to share Elder Oaks' talk on the matter with him today.
Mom, I told him about how you had the same questions he had about which church to join. He loves everything we've taught EXCEPT Joseph Smith. Could you write me a letter explaining HOW you came to know that he was a prophet? I would love that and I think it will help him as well.
 
I love you all more than all the orange blossoms in NoHo!
Hermana Manzana

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Recovering and Learning

Hey Mis Padres Bellos! (and in Daddy's case, belloso hee hee!!)
 
I'm better!! Not 100%, but I've been able to get out and about. That's crazy that Hannah had the same thing...we were just meant to be sisters. I love her an ocelot! Our elders have been super generous in driving us around this whole week...we went out last Tuesday or so just for an afternoon on our bikes, but my flu got worse, so the elders banned us from bike riding for a few days.
 It rained and rained and rained all day Saturday, and we got transfer calls! I'm staying, but Hermana Marquez is going up to Palmdale. I'm going to miss her so so much. I really love her and look up to her! I know that she's going to be perfect in Palmdale! My new companion is.......Hermana Quick! She's from Kentucky but her parents just moved to Spokane. She goes to BYU and is wanting to be a food science major. She's been my roommate the past 2 transfers, so I already know her fairly well and I love her stinkin' guts. This will be her 4th transfer. We're anticipating that she and I will be together  through the end of my mission.....that's so crazy! Since I've been at home a bunch, I haven't been able to work with our investigators a ton and I'm kind of bummed about that, but I'm super duper excited to get back into the thick of things.
 
I was feeling a little sad at church because we didn't have too many people there, including recent converts and less actives. I started to feel frustrated because there were so many people and so many ideas running through my head and I thought "oh man. I'm never going to be able to help them all. I won't even be able to remember these ideas after church!" psh. Silly me. Then I thought "wait a second, I can write the ideas down! What a concept!" Ay. Que mensa. But then in Relief society, we were talking about what truly makes us happy....of course family is the first answer, but what about family? I think that as a parent I will feel (and as a missionary for my investigators, I do feel ) the greatest satisfaction in those kinds of relationships (and any teaching situation really) comes from seeing people become independent based on the principles taught. My greatest hope as a missionary is to give investigators and converts the resources they need to always be close to Heavenly Father....to know how to find their own answers and motivation without my having to be there. When they truly establish a good relationship with Heavenly Father, They will always have that sure foundation in Christ that it talks about in Helaman. I was thinking about how key the scriptures and consistent scripture study are in establishing and maintaining that relationship, and lo and behold, we talked about scripture study in gospel principles class. We talked about how Elder Scott advised us to make the scriptures a cherished friend so that we can always have the words of Life constantly edifying our hearts, minds, and spirits. We also talked about how he advised us to write down ideas and personal revelation. Even just doing so shows the Lord and ourselves that we cherish the counsel He gives us and helps to prepare us for more. Go figure that Heavenly father would teach me that multiple times in one day. I will be more consistent about writing in my journal!
 
Also, one more sad bit of news: I lost my camera. I have most of the pictures saved onto discs already, but I've been lamenting its loss this whole transfer. Thankfully my companion and roommates are excellent photographers so most of the memories I would want, they have saved. Blessings!!
 
Thank you thank you for all your prayers! it's been good to have a little respite this week, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. It's helped me to renew my perspective of missionary work and I have a better idea of how to teach more effectively and I have the energy to do it! Please pray that we will be able to find and recognize the searchers of truth!
Thank you for the dresses! I'll be looking forward to them :)
 
Love you more than all the cough drops in my apartment,
Hermana Manzana

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Elder Perry and the Missionary Flu

Hi Mommy and Daddy,
 
I got both of your emails....thank you! I'm sorry it took me a few extra days to write back. It's been kind of an eventful (well, in a manner of speaking) few days. I started getting sick on Thursday and it totally destroyed me emotionally on Friday. I spent Saturday at home with lots of pharmaceuticals and a very loving, wonderful companion. Oh I also developed what I think is pink eye, but I used that tea that you put in the herbal first aid kit, so it cleared up pretty well by Monday. Church Sunday, a fireside in the evening that was all about missionary work with a focus on recent converts. It was SO great. Our Stake President is an amazing man--very charismatic, very motivated, very inspired. His Spanglish is the stuff of legends. Monday was a way weird day....We had a mission meeting (all but one zone---they're up in the middle of nowhere, poor guys) because they just made reassignments so Elder Richard J Maynes and Elder L. Tom Perry are in charge of the western states  missions now. They and their wives came and spoke to us about how to make the most of member missionary work, how to find "truth seekers", and other such awesome nuggets of wisdom. Elder Perry is a lot more sarcastic and funny than I would have imagined. We got to shake his hand, tell him our names, where we're from, and nothing more. He said "I don't want your life story, just tell me where you're from." I guess we were the last mission he visited in an 8 day tour, so I'd probably say the same. Our former district leader, Elder Gruenewald was the last of all the missionaries to greet him, and when Elder G. told Elder Perry he was from El Paso, TX, all Elder Perry said was "Oh that's too bad" and sent him on his way. I almost died laughing. 
It was a super cool, super inspiring experience and it made me excited to work my little tail off. Afterwards, since we never have more than 3 zones together at one time, we had a missionary fiesta in front of the chapel. SO many pictures, SO many missionaries, it was wonderful! We had another sister cut our hair while we were in Santa Clarita, then we went out for lunch and finally got back to NoHo late in the afternoon.
Yesterday I was so bad that we couldn't even get to the library for email. Our sweet elders brought us food and kept us from going stir crazy. Our members have been helping out so much, too. Our fridge is well-stocked with caldo de vegetales y pollo, chiles rellenos, sopes, pupusas, and ceviche.
I'm feeling much, much better today. Apparently the flu is going around and one of the symptoms is red, gummy eyes, so maybe it's not pink eye after all.....(I'm still dubious). I'm nervous to do a whole lot, even though I really want to, so we're taking it slow. Hna Marquez has been such an angel.
Sorry it's a lot of detail, but I figure nurse mom appreciates it.
Back in July, Chelsea wrote me an email about some defining points on her mission and how they helped her. I've referred back to that email multiple times throughout these last few months, but there was one that really helped me out this weekend. She had written about when she finally realized that missionary work is HARD: physically, emotionally, spiritually and how she learned how to trust the Savior to make up what she simply could not do. I've been noticing these past few weeks that I don't see missionary work the same as I used to....of course, I'm not supposed to, but I found that my motivation of love for individuals wasn't cutting it anymore. Well, on the one hand, yes and on the other hand, no....it's hard to explain...I've been more and more content with my responsibilities as a missionary, but I've just felt totally exhausted. I always knew that I wasn't pushing myself as hard physically as I could, so I figured that whatever I lacked in other areas, my physical reserves could cover it. When I got sick, however, I felt totally defeated and like I had absolutely nothing left to give. Heavenly Father sent me angels to help me right then, and I love my companions, roommates and district members for being so wonderful and willing to help.
I am getting worn down to the nubbins, but I think one of the reasons my recovery from the flu has been so slow is so that I can recover a little emotionally, too. I think this is sounding a whole lot more dramatic than it is....I'm tired, to be sure, but I know Heavenly Father will make me enough, especially for these last few months. I want to share the joy of the Gospel with all the world and everyone I see because I've been able to see and feel the change in my life and the support in difficult moments. We were talking to a woman the other day who felt disappointed in the church because she saw that even the most faithful of members had really terrible things happen to them. We said "That's not the point, though. Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain or sadness. It offers hope, direction, and purpose for when those times come. We're here to learn and grow. Some of that process hurts. A lot. But God loves us, so He gave us the Gospel to know what to doand why in those hard times"
That idea really struck a chord with her, and it's something that I know with all my heart to be true. Maybe it's trite and cliche to talk about life in terms of "it knocks you down, but you get stronger every time you get back up" but that's only because it's true. The kind of truth that you can base life decisions on and rely upon, like President Monson says "in world of changing standards and values". There is absolute truth and it comes from Father.
 
Anyway, just a few things that have been going on lately. Jeovany is doing GREAT and the ward totally loves him. Josefina is going to come to church this Sunday. Please pray that she will feel God answering her prayer to know that this is the church He wants her in.
 
I'm so glad I'm a missionary. Really. it's the best.
 
Ok....as for your questions: mom,  I'm coming home June 13th....so would I fly into Denver, get released, then come to Charlotte? I think that would be cool. 
I love you more than Nyquil,
Hna Manzana

Monday, March 5, 2012

Just a little news

Hey Fam! I'm glad you got my package...I'm sorry it was so stinkin' late in the mail....I am getting better at punctuality on some points and getting worse in other areas. 
 
We had a good week....it's going by SUPER fast. President has already started making transfer arrangements....I requested to train again....really, it's the only thing that makes sense for the amount of sisters we have, how many are available to move, etc. Maybe that was a totally crazy move on my part, but meh. Whatever's clever. We've been teaching more and more and it's super exciting. We're going to focus on helping our less active members a lot this week and we're really excited.
Love you more than pancakes,
Hermana Manzana
 
Oh by the way, I've decided to come home in June rather than July. I"m pretty sure that day will be June 13....just in time for Papa's birthday!! 
 
Oh also HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEANS!! He wrote me a super awesome email last week, and I have an awesome postcard for him...I just need to write on it..
Read them scriptures!